“In the Event That You Find This” by Catherine Abbey Hodges
“Try to remember the actual
moon is never less than full.
The evening cashier has a secret
sorrow and plans for the weekend.”
“Try to remember the actual
moon is never less than full.
The evening cashier has a secret
sorrow and plans for the weekend.”
“In these years of unrelenting
loss, I have practiced restoration
with you.”
“Dear eyes
like breaking stars,
some days I hear your voice
in the trees, some nights
I send you half my dreams.”
“Sometimes death
takes you by the throat, like burning leaves choke
and ochre light hangs thick as draperies across your living
room window where a slice of sky slips through
to remind you get outside, take a walk, breathe.”
“I thought it was just opening, he says. I thought
the petals were just unfurling.”
“Dress you
as you prefer, in men’s clothes—no rush
or pressure, pleasure in the long look,
the urge for color, then touch—”
“Tonight, I am going to push
the Susquehanna away with my body,
ignore the waning moon’s fractioning
of light.”
“That afternoon, I pretended
to be a cat—tabby, kinked tail.
And the finches behaved
accordingly.”
“Still awake believing our silence might leave us,
desperately needing to make ourselves heard,
every girl told a story before parents came for us.”
“I imagined us drinking tea
sugared with honesty,
laughing till we turned soft
as fallen apples.”
“Always, I begin
with nothing and too much
to say.”
“Some days
almost everything’s about sex, and maybe
this as well: groan of old boards, joists
and beams remembering, music
of breaking glass.”
CALYX Celebrates Fire, Fury, and Resilience with Oregon Artist Betty LaDuke Please join us in ekphrastic appreciation of the artist Betty LaDuke, whose most recent exhibition, Fire, Fury, and Resilience:
“You nudged me with a whisper,
to rise an hour before azan,
from under the thick
of dove feathers warm with your love
for God, and me, the musty grandchild”
“Hideous beauty, I shake you loose
from a cushion of the wicker chair
where, it seems, you’ve gone to die.”
“Announce me, let them know I am coming. Carry me into the arena on a King Carrier. I come from a lineage of linebackers. My knuckles are a mountain range. Your booing only makes me more powerful.”
“Something reminded me today that a parent of mine had died
and the barometric pressure fell, and rain began to touch the river.”
“Today I celebrate my only bangle
my one-hand applause
the gold leaf on my family tree
my hand-hammered heritage
my blood.”
“a white moth arrives rising and falling
on the warm breeze, lingers on the headstone
then on my bare arm, clinging as if
searching for moist skin or the scent of me.”
“I stare out the window
over the sink, the citrus soap promising
something pure as we shelter in place.
A rolling fog smokes the green
grass. The vixen glides her grizzled gray
between orchard and rock wall border.”
“Milk passes through me like liquid moons,
wet stars on her tongue. She sucks
till I’m emptied of all the white
cells in my celestial body.”
“Because this is endearment not indictment
I’ll say that I admire the commitment you’ve recently made
to eating your berries with the knife used to clean them
rather than using a spoon.”
“Bored, my children open me up, like a fridge,
to find out what’s inside. I glow and show them
leftovers, mostly, some of them over a week old.”
“Your voice slips like smoke
between prison bars,
a jailer lights a cigarette,
considers the burning stub.”
“one was peering at a recipe
for risotto, the other
at the microscopic script
in an obsolete telephone book.”
“Each with a man
that stuck, waxy & scarlet as their lips on my
cheek, anointing me with gentle warnings &
measurements for the perfect chicken soup.”
“You salt the egg anticipating
the salt. Count on the hill
for the view, and, when you get to the top,
there’s the view.”
“This is a place, I thought,
where words cannot bring us
safely back home.”
“We approach
middle age as undiscovered country when
really it’s the same old alley, the bowling pin
that wobbles like a drunk but won’t go down.”
“Polyglot wind: her too many voices,
her tangled tongues,
all of them sharp.”
“In quietude I feel I am everywhere at once—my own body rehearsing its wintering act, too. I look up from the table to the far side of the lake to see a buck limping, his hind legs sixteenth-notes in the dry leaves. From far off, a shot sounds like an encyclopedia falling to a wooden floor and like the echo of its striking.”
“One of my first shifts in the ER, I looked down the throat
of a young boy and saw a nail. The boy smiled. He coughed.
The nail quivered.”
“It’s too good to last, this early sunshine in April,
this smell-of-cut-grass morning
and this body, with its mirage of infinite breaths,
its lie of immortality.”
“My own heartbeat
neither wants or doesn’t want to live.
It just does.”
“It’s official: dementia and medication. Not unexpected. But getting the ICD code is like being pinned. Mom does not protest.
The transitions before me are not unique, I know. Yet the fact that they’re universal and part of life matters as much to me as cocktail party chitchat.
What I treasure are tiny pearls that appear in mundane surroundings, a particular moment between particular people.”
“past weatherworn bluffs and farther than any bird known, the swift sleeps on the wing, leaving grief behind“ Enjoy this audio recording of “toward the south, past st ives” by
“They tried to scratch off the paint. A portrait. They tried to scratch. A woman. The paint. A woman with a long face.” This audio recording of “La Femme” by
“consider the (curious)(strained) way she admires the hummingbirds (hovering)(swirling) above her head, and the air now saturated with (teargas)(sun)(clementines)“ Enjoy this audio recording of “Decisions” by Livia Meneghin from Vol.
“When I imagine a life after this one, I imagine a field. And in this field, there are people running toward each other, delighted to be able to.“ Enjoy this
“You are tired of pretending to be the authority on democracy when you believe all governments stink, some just smell more rank than others. As you sing the praises of
“revolve this landscape encased by pulverized petals the stories round the wood in areola waves” This audio recording of “Rings of Pink, Enheduanna” by Nicole Miyashiro from Vol. 32:1 of
On May 5, 2017, Barbara Baldwin—poet and founding editor of CALYX—passed away. I didn’t have the privilege of knowing Barbara long enough, although I’d been hearing about her for years
This week we are excited to share Caitlin Scarano’s poem “To My Little Sister, Driving Drunk,” which was published in CALYX’s 27:3 issue. Caitlin Scarano is a poet in the
Today Voices of CALYX is proud to bring you Airica Parker’s poem “Identity,” which appeared in Volume 28:3 of CALYX, available here. Airica Parker’s work appears most recently in Camas, Driftwood
CALYX is happy to showcase Abby Minor’s piece “Whitetail,” which was published in volume 28:2. Abby Minor has studied at Smith College, The Penland School of Crafts, and The Pennsylvania
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We’re proud to exhibit our first audio piece, written and recorded by Camellia Phillips. Camellia’s piece appears in Volume 27:3 of CALYX Journal. Camellia Phillips is a longtime grant writer
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To Do List for the Damaged: My Hedgebrook recipe for writing a book By Tammy Robacker As Hedgebrook opens their call for women writers to apply this June, I cannot
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