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Quarantine Telehealth Well-Woman Profile

No I’m not planning any more
pregnancies since in dog years
I’m eight in cats I’m what they call
mature and also mostly indoor
so no I’m not concerned about
seasonal allergies or my alcohol
consumption yes I use caffeine
though in French somehow I’m
still très fatiguée no I haven’t left
the country recently in airplanes
I’m most like a malfunctioning
pressure release valve yes I do
take deep breaths vitamins and
my frustrations out on others
on the scale of Band-Aid to 911
I’m a three-star fridge review
kinda frosty but fine could be
quieter now if we’re talking
perishables I’d say I’m shrink-
wrapped meat I’m getting old
I’m on the edge of going bad
wait what even is today’s date

Jennifer Richter’s first collection, Threshold, was chosen as a winner in the Crab Orchard Series in Poetry by Natasha Trethewey; her second collection, No Acute Distress, was a Crab Orchard Editor’s Selection. Poems from her new manuscript, The Really Big One, have been featured in ZYZZYVA, The Account, and The Missouri Review. She lives in Corvallis, OR.